May it be also written on our hearts!

A few days ago I realized that I have been a bit resentful to this situation…me not getting to do what I want to do when I want to do it (ouch!).  After all, I’m a Pastor and leader of our church…I need to be reading all I can on the latest thoughts in Christian leadership, spiritual formation and such.  And if I don’t do this stuff I’m not going to be a good Pastor…I won’t have the mo-jo that I need to be good…I will slip into mediocrity and have a dull mind.  I won’t be able to talk shop very well with my peers about the latest and coolest things happening in ministry and sound like I know everything about everything.

Through plugging away at my Alive Journal (hope all you Cornerstone folks are with me on this) I have been talking to God about this…just coming clean with these thoughts.  After getting it all out I began to realize again how very blessed I am to be in this life stage.  And that this is the situation that God has me in right now.  I sensed him telling me in my spirit, “I will teach you through your kids.”  I wrote it down (with quotes around it just as you see it here) and have been watching and waiting expectantly.

Well my Mom just came home from a trip to Israel (yes the place where all the rockets have been going off) and brought gifts back for all the grandkids.  For Benjamin it was a special necklace with a cross on it…the word JESUS carved into it.  And he loves this thing.  Has wanted to sleep with it on and everything. (Check it out in the picture…I took it myself yesterday morning at about 6:15 am on the couch).

The other night he was checking out this new cross and showing it to me.  I asked him, “What does it say there on the cross?”  He thought for a minute and replied…“It says that God loves you soooooo much.”

Wow…Leslie and I just looked at each other.  And it hit me…this was the wisdom of God, hidden in the quiet heart of a little child.  It reminded me of a scripture that my friend JD Walt used to quote a lot when I was at Seminary,

“At that time Jesus, full of joy through the Holy Spirit, said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children.” Luke 10:21.

I can read all the books and have all kinds of deep theological conversations but the secret wisdom is hidden in the cross…in looking at it like a little 5 year old and saying “It says that God loves you sooooo much.”

So what from here for me?  I’m choosing to embrace again the gift of my life stage and my little famiy.  I’m embracing little people climbing into our bed at 4am and putting their feet into my back.  I’m embracing a house that has little trinkety toys strown all over the place.  I’m embracing searching for sippy cups and Cheerios that are ground into the rug.

I’m choosing to put down the yoke of “I need to be reading that book so I can be great” and I’m playing Candyland!